113: 3 Steps To Turn Off Your Brain And Get Better Sleep

Ever find yourself laying in bed, staring at your ceiling, and you just can’t seem to shut your brain off?

Whether you’re thinking about all the things you need to get done tomorrow, stressing about what you didn’t get done today, or going down some rambling train of thought where our brains like to go at the most inconvenient times (like rehashing your negative highlight reel from the last 10 years), sometimes it’s hard to get our brains to turn off and fall asleep.

But the thing is, our brains need sleep. Not only is sleep important for our health, it’s when your brain forms new memories, and getting enough sleep is key to getting stuff done and having the energy to reach your goals.

In this episode I’ll share 3 strategies you can start using tonight to get your brain to turn down the noise, and actually fall asleep at night. Okay let’s dive in.

Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

In our busy world it’s a pretty common pitfall to sacrifice sleep in an effort to get more done.

Maybe you stay up an hour late to respond to some emails before bed, or finishing that project you really want to get off your desk, or tidying up your house and doing the chores you finally have time to do after working all day… or maybe your head hits the pillow and you’re trying to go to sleep on time, but your brain starts reminding you of all the stuff you didn’t get done today…

Don’t worry my friend, you’re not alone. Chances are if you’re listening to this podcast you are a go getter, you get stuff done, and you’re no stranger to hard work. But that also means you hold yourself to some pretty high standards. I get it, you’ve got big goals at work, and you’ve worked your tail off to get where you are.

Nothing wrong with some good old fashioned hard work – until that little bit extra every day grows, and staying late one day slowly becomes staying late at the office every day, and working through lunch, and working right until your head hits the pillow…no wonder we’re not sleeping very well.

A study from the CDC in 2016 found that 1 in 3 Americans aren’t getting enough sleep. Most health experts recommend the average adult get 7-9 hours of nightly sleep.

Let me be clear, that’s not 7 hours in bed where you’re spending 2 hours staring at your roof and stressing about your to-do list before you actually fall asleep, that’s 7-9 hours really sleeping. Are you getting enough?

If you’re waking up tired in the morning, or wishing you had more energy at the end of the day, taking a hard look at your sleep is a great place to start.

Because here’s the thing – our brains and bodies need sleep!

My Sleep Deprivation and Putting My Daughter in the Bathtub With Her Clothes On!

I remember after my daughter was born we struggled with sleep. She was probably 9 months old before she started sleeping through the night (that’s longer than a 5 hour stretch at once). I remember I was back to work full time at the hospital, starting my business, and getting up at least once per night with a baby, and boy was my brain and body running on empty.

Looking back now I’m not entirely sure how I did it (I’m sure there’s some science about the neurotransmitters and hormones for new moms that keep them mostly sane when they’re chronically sleep deprived), but I know my thinking was slow.

I stumbled over my words, and my brain felt like it was covered in a layer of mud slowing me down all the time. Allison still loves to tell the story of how I put her in the bathtub with her socks still on one day when she was little – I’m sure sleep deprivation played a role!

And you don’t have to have experience being a sleep deprived new parent to have felt the effects of a bad night’s sleep. You wake up and it’s like your head just hit the pillow, you can't believe your alarm is going off already! Maybe you need an extra cup of coffee or two to get going, you kind of stumble through your day, going through the motions, and you know you’re not performing at your best.

Chronic poor sleep quality impacts your body and increases risk of health complications including heart disease and diabetes, even weight gain. It impacts your mood – making you more irritable and cranky, and it impacts your brain – you’re more likely to make mistakes, struggle to problem solve, and your thinking slows.

Hopefully I’ve convinced you how important sleep is – not only for your health, but also your productivity and goals. Can’t get stuff done if you have no energy, right?

3 Strategies To Turn Your Brain Off And Get Some Sleep

So what can you do?

One sleep problem that I know is super common for all of us recovering perfectionists and overachievers – is struggling to shut your brain off when you go to sleep!

Maybe you’ve been focusing on going to bed at a reasonable time every night, but as soon as your head hits the pillow your brain turns on. Thinking about everything on your to-do list you didn’t get checked off today, all the stuff you need to get done tomorrow, what you’re going to wear to that work party next week, that one time 10 years ago you embarrassed yourself by making a mistake in a meeting… you know where I’m coming from here right?

That mental chatter when you’re trying to drift off into dream land is the worst! And can leave you staring at your ceiling late into the night, and frustrated the next day because you’re tired, again.

Here are 3 strategies to turn your brain off when you’re trying to go to sleep:

Strategy 1 – train your brain that your bed is for sleep.

Let me ask you this, do you do anything in bed besides sleeping and sex? Scrolling through your phone looking at social media or checking emails, watching tv, doing a few last minute things on your laptop...

We’ve all heard that screen time before bed can impact sleep, but it's’ not just the screens that are the problem. The problem is when you’re doing anything else in bed besides sleeping, your brain has learned to associate sleep with that other thing.

Say you do some work in bed every night for a few weeks. Our brains learn fast. So now when you crawl into bed your brain says oh, this is work time, let’s get wide awake so we can check off some emails.

I know I preach the importance of routines and habits all the time on this show, and that’s for a reason! Our brains are learning machines. They’re learning all the time. Which is awesome, until we teach our brain habits that work against us.

If you’re struggling to sleep in bed, pay attention to what you're doing in bed other than sleeping.

And this includes reading or other relaxing tasks too. If you like to read or watch tv before bed, at least do that in another room, then when you feel sleeping move to your bed for sleep. It will take some practice, but the more that you train your brain to associate the bed with sleep, the faster you’ll be able to turn your mind off and go to sleep at night.

Strategy #2 – have a bedtime routine.

Yes we’re back to routines. Routines help our brain know what to expect.

We all use routines. Think about what you do in the morning. I get up, use the washroom, brush my teeth, get my daughter up, get ready for work, and then get my daughter ready. That routine makes my morning easier. I get up and my brain knows what to do first.

You probably have routines at work too. Simple routines that make your day run more smoothly.

A bedtime routine is a way to signal your brain that it’s time to sleep.

We used them as kids right? For my daughter we do

bath,
watch one episode of a short cartoon (right now it’s Bluey),
brush her teeth,
get into bed,
read a book,
then snuggle for a bit.

We know these routines help kids calm their minds and bodies so they can go to sleep easier, but we often ditch the routine as grown ups.

Come up with a simple routine to signal your brain it’s time to wind down and go to bed.

Maybe a few minutes of meditation, reading a book, or whatever works for you to calm your mind.

Again it will take some practice, but the more you use the routine the faster your brain will shut off, and the less time you’ll spend staring at your ceiling thinking about the things you should have done today.

Strategy #3 – Try the mental shelf exercise.

This one works for any situation where you’re struggling with annoying thoughts and can’t focus. Like if you're trying to focus at work and you keep thinking about another project, or you’re trying to enjoy time with your family but you keep getting interrupted with thoughts about work.

This strategy is great for bedtime too when those thoughts won’t shut off.

Here’s how it works – imagine a shelf. You want to picture it as vividly as possible. Imaging the color, the texture, where it is, the color, all the details.

I use a bookshelf in my living room because I can really bring it to mind.
Picture that shelf.
Then imagine your thought as a thought bubble, like a cartoon character thought bubble, Wile E Coyote style.
Imagine yourself picking that thought up and putting it on the shelf.
That’s your signal to your brain that you are shelving that thought for now. You can pick it up in the morning if you need to, or just leave it on the shelf if the thought isn’t helpful.

This one takes some practice too. The thoughts aren’t going to stay on the shelf right away, that’s okay. The goal is to train your mind to take the thought and put it on the shelf, instead of letting it fester and keep you awake.

Bonus Resource - The Time Freedom Toolkit

Want to get your to-do list under control and actually get stuff done… without juggling a million things at once, having no clue where to start, and feeling busy all the time? This toolkit has 5 video lessons, 2 daily templates and one meditation exercise to help you ditch that overwhelming to-do list, stop procrastinating and putting things off until “tomorrow”, and have the confidence knowing you have the skills and strategies to get stuff done every day. All for just $27. Click here to learn more www.drnicolebyers.com/toolkit

Take Home Message

Our brains and bodies need sleep, but all too often we’re not getting enough. One culprit – all those thoughts that love to come into our heads when we’re trying to sleep.

Pick one of the strategies you’ve learned today and start practicing.

Remember, just like learning anything new, it will take some practice for your brain to use these skills. Your brain is going to resist a bit at first, it’s used to staring at your ceiling and spirling into stress mode and self doubt at night. But you can train your mind to stop focusing on what you haven't done today, and get in a new habit of falling asleep and getting the rest you need.

Show Highlights

[01:51] Do you find yourself sacrificing sleep to get more done?

[02:58] 1 in 3 Americans don’t get enough sleep. That’s a lot.

[04:45] Learn the signs of chronic poor sleep quality.

[06:25] The three strategies you can use to train your brain to go to sleep at night.

[08:10] A bedtime routine is extremely helpful for making your brain wind down.

[09:27] Try the mental shelf exercise.

[11:24] A quick recap of the episode.

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