The Fear Of Not Being Good Enough
You’ve probably heard before “success is 10% knowledge and 90% mindset” or something like that. Often when we talk about mindset we talk about how to get our brains on track towards success. How to get our minds pointed at where we want to go, and how to stay optimistic and excited for the future. All of that is definitely an important component of success, but I think it’s at least as important to look at how our mindset holds us back. Sometimes these negative aspects of mindset are called limiting beliefs, or negative core beliefs. One of these limiting beliefs that comes up for a lot of us is the fear of not being good enough.
If this is one of your own limiting beliefs you probably have thoughts like “I can’t do this”, “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not talented enough”, or “No one is going to like me if I try and fail”. Sound familiar? Like I said this limiting belief is really common, and it can stop our brains from changing and taking chances.
Anyone who’s ever been called a perfectionist likely has a bit of this limiting belief. Everything has to be perfect or I’m a giant failure. If I am not doing this perfectly then there is no point in even trying. Hands up if this is starting to sound familiar, if you ever catch some of these thoughts running through your head.
The trouble with this belief is that it is like a giant kick to our self confidence. If deep down I believe that I’m not good enough, or that I’m never going to be enough, how can I possibly expect my brain to try to achieve something that’s outside my comfort zone, something that’s a stretch of my skills but might lead to incredible things?
Our beliefs don’t magically appear out of nowhere. They develop over time from our experiences. The good news is that means our beliefs are LEARNED, which means we can UNLEARN them. It just takes practice. It took years for this belief to be stuck in our mind, so we have to put in a bunch of work to change it. Think of your brain like a muscle. The first time you go to the gym after being out of the game for a while your muscles are sore the next day, right? Same goes for your brain. Training your brain to think differently is hard, and it’s going to make you uncomfortable. It’s going to feel weird at first to think differently, but just like changing any habit we can change how our brains respond to these limiting beliefs.
Here are my favorite questions to ask myself to challenge my brain when I start to doubt myself, when I start to think I’m not good enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or what ever enough:
Is this true or is this my brain falling into a limiting belief?
Can I think of an example that shows this thought is not true? An example when I was smart enough, or talented enough.
What would I tell my daughter (or best friend) if she told me she had this thought? This one is my favorite and works for me every time. We are a million times harder on ourselves than we are on others.
Next time you catch yourself thinking I’m not enough to reach for that new goal check yourself. Question and challenge that belief. I be you will recognize that that belief is not true and it’s holding you back from something great.