85: Why Learning to Delegate at Home Can Save You Time at Work with Cheryl Dawson

Is it possible to happy and successful - At the same time!

Today I’m joined by leadership coach Cheryl Dawson to share why you don’t have to sacrifice one for the other.

Cheryl is a former corporate executive turned leadership coach. She works with women who have landed their dream leadership role, only to find themselves overwhelmed and feeling like they never have enough time.

Cheryl has 20 years of leadership experience and tons of practical advice to help you succeed at work and have a life!

A little bit more about Cheryl

Cheryl spent 20 years climbing the corporate ladder. Just before the pandemic struck, Cheryl began wondering what her next career move was going to be. So she started researching companies and looking at their leadership teams.

The more research Cheryl did, the more anger she felt. She was frustrated to see that companies were still being led mainly by men.

Cheryl decided she wanted to have a bigger impact. She decided to pursue mentoring and coaching. Instead of being the one woman in the room, she could support many women move into those leadership roles.

Is it true that women in leadership are competitive?

The short answer – yes. But Cheryl has an explanation.

If there’s only one woman sitting at the table and you want a seat, of course you’ll feel like it’s a competition.

More seats at the table = less competition.

The other challenge is finding your own unique voice and style in leadership.

Can you be “too nice” as a woman in leadership?

Cheryl was told over and over was that she was “too nice” as a leader. As her confidence grew, she was able to explain why her niceness was an asset. She was good at building relationships. She didn’t have to be mean to get people to do their jobs!

Cheryl emphasizes finding your personal strengths and how to implement them in your leadership role.

It takes so much energy to be someone you’re not. Acting in a way that’s not natural to you (like adapting your companies leadership strategies when you know you have better ones) can burn you out. Remember, we only have so many brain resources, so if you’re spending all of them on trying to act in a way that you don’t feel comfortable, then you’ll have no resources left for your actual work performance.

Finding the balance between home and work – is it possible to do it all?

One of the most important things, says Cheryl, is accepting that you can’t do it all.

Asking for – and sometimes demanding – help is okay!

Women use less support than men at work.

Not fully using their team
Not asking too much of their assistants
Trying to do it all themselves

This is true at home too! Letting people help with cooking, cleaning, and kids. If you think you can do all the parenting on your own, that’s a fast track to misery.

For me, I feel like I’m pretty good at delegating and sharing tasks both at work and at home. But when things start to pile up or I’m in a time crunch that my inner perfectionist and inner people pleaser make me think I have to do it all by myself!

Cheryl says the trick is to practice self-compassion. You’re just human, there’s a lot to do, and you’re really stressed out! Once you realize this, the next step is to decide what you can let go of. When you find yourself in a situation where you’ve taken on too much, start to prioritize and re-strategize.

How to be less self-critical

Acknowledging your humanity is huge according to Cheryl.

If you saw someone else behaving this way – trying to get everything done, by themselves, juggling a million things – what would you say to them? Have that conversation with yourself.

There’s usually one thing on your list that you really, really care about, more than the other things. If you can’t always access self-compassion, find that one thing on your list that you really care about and tackle it. You’ll feel a lot better once it’s done, and then you can focus on the self-compassion.

You’re not superwoman and you can take a step back!

Delegating at home

If you’re struggling to delegate at work, you’re probably struggling to delegate at home too.

Ask yourself - How important is it to you that you get everything done? What’s more important… that the task gets done, or that it gets done by you your way?

Cheryl also suggests having the conversations with your partner at home to clarify teamwork.

It’s one thing to delegate tasks, but have you ever considered also delegating your mental load? It’s one thing to give your husband a grocery list and say, “go get groceries”, but what about the mental resources it takes to make the list?

This is the idea of delegating decisions. Turn your micro-manager switch off! If the dishes ultimately end up clean, does it really matter if your husband scrubbed them clockwise or counter clockwise?

Making the leap from corporate to solopreneur

Coming from 20 years in the corporate world, Cheryl says she feels like a beginner all over again since starting her own business.

One of the biggest adjustments that Cheryl has learned was enjoying the freedom of having her own business. Instead of being forced to sit at a desk all day, Cheryl enjoys the freedom of being her own boss and having the ability to set her own schedules.

As a beginner, especially with the creativity aspect (such as marketing), Cheryl also explains the importance of having enough space to be able to work well. Sitting at a desk all day is not something that helps Cheryl with her creativity, so she enjoys taking walks in the middle of the day and being flexible with her own schedule to set up the right environment for her.

Thinking of yourself as a beginner can be tough. Especially if you’ve become expert at your previous job! To go from knowing everything to knowing nothing is a hard adjustment, especially with your inner perfectionist telling you that you should be an expert already at your new thing.

Be gentle with yourself and know that you will get it, it will just take time.

Cheryl’s book recommendation

1. Playing Big by Tara Moore

Cheryl says this booked helped challenge her guilt for having feminine traits while working in a masculine corporate world. It also gives great tools for envisioning what you want in your future and going after it.

2. I Know How She Does It by Laura Vanderkam

Laura follows 100 women who make more than $100,00 a year, for a week. These women are asked to log all their time. This book gives you a peek at how successful women manage their time. It paves the way for how to lead a successful life both at home and at work.

3. Essentialism by Greg McKeown

What really matters? It can’t be possible that everything matters, and it can’t be true that everything matters! Greg helps to shape your mind around what’s important, and letting the rest go.

Wanna learn more?

If you want to learn more from Cheryl, you can find her on Instagram: @cherylmariedawson. She does lots of tips and videos talking about leadership, time management, and self care.