60: Are You Creating Roadblocks to Your Own Success with Christine Roberts

Does it feel like you’re drifting through life with no direction? You find it hard to stay focused on your goals when everyone around you is being so negative. Success coach Christine Roberts joins us on the show this week to share how to past those roadblocks and reach your full potential.

The 30 Day No Complaining Contract

What’s the most common way that you hold yourself back?

Christine breaks it down like this: What you believe drives how you think, which drives how you feel, which drives your actions, and ultimately your results.

According to Christine, what you feed your brain matters.

Think of it like feeding your body. If you’re on a McDonald’s only diet, your body isn’t going to like you very much and probably won’t be a prime example of health.

Works the same for your mind! If you’re on a negative thought diet, your mind isn’t going to be in top goal-getting shape.

To shift your thinking and get out of the spiral of self-doubt, Christine suggests a no complaining contract that she created for her coaching course.

It’s a contract with yourself that you won’t complain for 30 days.

The goal of the contract is to increase your awareness of how much you’re complaining (even if it’s just in your own head). When you realize how much negativity complaining is bringing into your life, you’re more motivated to cut if out.

Be Like Disney and How Leadership Is Influence

Christine recently worked on an advisory group where she helped companies implement the Disney approach to company culture. She explains that the key factors in this approach are employee engagement, leadership, and quality of service. Christine would help companies adapt these ideals to improve their work culture and business.

One of the key components of success for anyone, says Christine, is self awareness. When you can step back and pay attention to what you’re thinking about and why you’re thinking about it, then you can be a great leader.

Do you feel like you’re not a leader, or like you can’t be one? Here’s a secret: Everyone can be a leader, because everyone can have influence. This is why it’s important to be mindful of your thoughts and actions so that you’re not influencing others in the wrong way.

Success Doesn’t Happen Overnight!

“Once I lose this weight, then I’ll be happy”
“When I get this promotion, then I’ll feel successful”
“Once I get this job, then I’ll be confident”

All too often, you think that once you accomplish a goal it will be a gateway to infinite happiness and confidence, and you’ll never have to think about self doubt again.

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. Confidence building is an ongoing journey!

Christine explains that every single day, you have to choose to…

Live with purpose
Be intentional with your thinking
Give yourself grace

Some days are going to be harder than others. And some days it will seem like it’s easier to give up. But the journey is one of the most important parts of reaching your goals! The journey is where you will experience the most learning and growth, so it’s important to embrace the struggle of getting to the finish line.

Strategies For Failing Forward

Christine shared these strategies for learning to fail forward:

You need to know what you want. Being really clear with yourself on what your goals are, why you want to achieve them, and how you want to achieve them will give you the encouragement and empowerment that you need to get yourself there.

You need to be able to say no. This means being a little selfish and being okay with it. If you’re working towards a huge goal, then your plate is pretty full. That’s why it’s important to be able to say no to anything extra. It’s important to have the energy and time to nurture your own success.

Take the word busy out of your vocabulary. When people say their busy, Christine says, it’s like they’re being a victim of themselves. Why? Because you have control over your life, and your time. It’s up to you to make time for yourself and prioritize your goals.

Being proactive with your decisions, rather than reactive. Choosing your goals and planning ahead is the best way to stay on track. It gives you the ability to visualize what needs to get done. This means that you can more easily avoid a reactive “yes” when someone asks a favour that might get in the way of your own priorities.

The Gap Between Expectation and Reality

Disappointment, frustration, anxiety – these are some of the emotions that you may feel when the gap between your reality and your expectations is too large.

You’re expecting:

to reach a goal by a deadline, or
to earn a certain salary,
to be super confident every time you walk in a room.

But in reality, you didn’t reach the goal on time, and you didn’t get the raise, and you didn’t feel confident today.

You may have told yourself that you’re a failure, or how disappointing you are, and you were left feeling frustrated because the gap between your reality and your expectations was too big to handle.

Instead of feeling less than, it’s helpful to set expectation boundaries for yourself. Keeping one foot in reality is so important, especially when it comes to setting goals.

Breaking Up With Debby-Downers and Negative-Nancy’s

Christine says to picture a circle that is full of dots, and all of those dots represent the people in your life. Underneath the circle is three buckets. The first bucket is labeled the 2-day person, the second bucket is labelled the 2-hour person, and the third bucket is labeled the 2-minute person.

The goal is to put all of those dots in your circle (the people in your life) into the correct buckets.

The negative Nancy’s and Debby downers in your life (you know the type – always telling you how things could go wrong and draining your energy) go in your 2-minute bucket. Who really has time for them anyways?

The 2-day bucket is for people in your life who lift you up, inspire you, and who you want to spend the most time with. The 2-day bucket was made for the people who will help you achieve your goals.

If you’re feeling like you need more 2-day people in your life but you have a hard time finding like-minded people in your circle, Christine suggests listening to podcasts and reading books. This is a great strategy to feed your mind the good stuff from people who have been successful and have achieved the dreams you’re aiming for.

Show Highlights

[01:54] How Christine started as a coach in the personal growth field.

[02:55] Common mental barriers among women.

[04:18] The process of our thoughts driving our feelings and how that affects our personal growth.

[05:08] Three elements that program our subconscious mind.

[09:18] The key component of self-awareness and why this has such a fundamental role in our mindset and personal growth.

[13:57] Learning to say no and develop a process of decision-making.

[16:21] Figuring out your priorities and your value system.

[23:53] How to deal with negative people in your life.

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