59: Motivation Isn't Your Problem - How To Focus Your Brain For Success

Have you ever felt really motivated to make a change in your life? But after a couple days or weeks your motivation fizzled? You may have gotten super discouraged and felt like a failure when you didn’t reach your goal.

The problem? Motivation isn’t enough when it comes to changing our actions and behaviours.

Today on The Bold Life I’ll explain how to keep your motivation burning until you achieve your goals.

My Professor The Dream Killer

“Now it’s our turn to be the buzzkill and give everyone some tough love.”

My supervisor said that to me back when I was a psychology resident in a bariatric surgery clinic. I remember my jaw dropping to the floor as he made his way to the front of a room full of very excited and motivated people to give them a dose of reality.

Bariatric surgery is a procedure for those who struggle with significant obesity. As part of their weight management journey, they undergo this surgery to shrink the size of their stomach with the goal of having to eat less and lose weight. This presentation was for folks on the wait list for that surgery.

This room was full of people who had tried everything to lose weight,

Every diet imaginable
Weight loss supplements
Restricted eating
And other last-ditch options that weren’t great for their health

But nothing had worked.

These folks were there to learn about the surgery. And a lot of them probably felt like this was their last option.

First to the podium was the surgeon and clinic nurse who explained all the benefits and success stories of the surgery. You could feel the excitement in the room start to build…

… and then my supervisor stood up and killed everyone’s dreams.

He gets up to the podium to discuss the psychology of the surgery and recovery, and the firsts words out of his mouth are: “For may of you in this room, surgery will be a failure”.

All the energy in the room evaporated!

He continued to explain that he knows how excited and motivated everyone in the room was feeling, and how pumped they must be about this life changing opportunity.

But change is really hard. And your brain does not want to change.

In this case, it’s actually possible to out-eat the surgery. The point of the surgery is to make your stomach smaller, but if you keep overeating or eating like garbage then your stomach will go back to its old size.

My supervisor made it very clear that even with this genius surgery, motivation wasn’t enough for successful.

Why You Lose Motivation

Your brain has habits that it’s learned through years of practice and experience, and that’s where it’s most comfortable. This means even if you feel motivated right now, without a plan in place you’re going to slip back to your old habits.

For the folks in this room waiting for surgery, this could mean that their habit of overeating and eating bad foods could bring them right back to square one.

Maybe you’ve experienced something similar. You listened to podcast like this one or attended a self-help seminar, and you became really, really motivated to make some changes in your life. And then you make those changes!

Well, for awhile…

Because after a few weeks of whatever that thing is you were motivated to do –work harder, make more money, or get in shape – your motivation starts to fade, right?

This could be because

You got busy at work
Your kids need their mama
Or something none of us would have expected – a pandemic hits the pause button on your entire life

Don’t worry, we’ve all been there!

If motivation alone could create success I know every person in that room waiting for surgery could have easily achieved a successful outcome.

But motivation isn’t the problem.

The problem is thinking we need more motivation. If we believe motivation is the problem, then we blame ourselves when we fail. We tell ourselves things like

“I wasn’t motivated enough”
“I don’t have enough willpower”
“I’m not strong enough, or dedicated enough, or whatever enough”

Focusing on motivation is a slippery slop to self-doubt and that inner mean girl jumping all over you with criticism when you mess up or don’t follow through.

But your brain likes to be comfortable. And its most comfortable right where you are. Because the fear of the unknown is really hard for your brain to explore.

Let’s *Hypothetically* Say You Hate Your Job…

You’re frustrated
You’re burnt out
You get up every morning and hit snooze 10 times before dragging yourself out of bed
You trudge to work
And stare at the clock all day watching the minutes slowly pass by before you can get out of there

You know you want to apply for a new job, but the little voice of self doubt is asking some daunting “what if” questions. What if…

My new job is worse?
I apply and get rejected?
Someone finds out I’m looking for other jobs and I get fired from this one?
I’m not smart enough for a new job?
I get the job but then I mess up and get fired and then I have no job at all?

Your brain is focused on the risk of changing and the benefits of staying the same.

We already talked about the risks, but what are the benefits of your current job? You might hate it, but there’s a reason that you’ve stayed.

One of those reasons could be stability. You know what to expect, you know what to do, and you know you have a paycheck on the way every couple weeks. Your brain is comfortable here.

Change on the other hand, is not comfortable. This is why motivation is not enough to change. You might be really, really motivated but your brain is always going to throw roadblocks in your way with “what if this, what if that”. Eventually, your brain convinces you that it’s better to stay where you are and where you’re comfortable.

How Do We Change, For Good?

To solution is to train your brain to focus on the reasons to change. That includes the risks of your current situation, and the benefits of changing.

Let’s go back to the example of hating your job.

What are the risks of staying at this job?

You wake up feeling unmotivated
You’re bored or stressed all day
It feels like you’re wasting your life at this job that drains your energy and time

Think about what kind of impact this will have on your mind and body over the next 10 years, or even 20 years? It looks like poor sleep, high stress, and a lack of joy.

What are the benefits of a new job?

You might love it
You could start waking up excited
Finally find something you’re truly passionate about
If you love what you do, you’re going to perform better and that mean promotions and raises!

Here’s some tips for getting your brain focused on the risks of staying the same and the benefit of change:

Practice!
Make it your new mental habit
Make a chart – List the risks of your current habits and staying where you are right now. In the other column, list the potential benefits of your new habit and how that change could be a good thing. Put this chart somewhere that you can see it daily! (or check out this free workbook where I walk you through how to do this) Get the workbook

Over time, your brain will learn the habit of focusing on the future and not on the risks of changing. This way, it’s so much easier to stay on track towards your new habit.

Just Like My Supervisor Said

This is exactly what my supervisor said all those years ago in that room full of people. He might have crushed some momentum for folks in the seminar, but he also gave them a realistic plan. He explained that surgery alone isn’t enough, they also had to plan a whole lifestyle change, and most importantly – stick to it.

He emphasized the importance of mindset and shifting that mental attention away from comfort and fear. We know that’s how you’ll have your greatest success.

Show Highlights

[02:16] How I learned that motivation isn’t the problem.

[04:18] Why it’s possible to “out-eat” bariatric surgery.

[07:02] Why your comfortable brain can overcome your motivation to achieve a goal.

[08:54] How to get out of your comfort zone and change your habits.

[10:20] A quick exercise to motivate your brain to keep focused on your goals.

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