139: One Time Saving Secret to Reach Your Goals in 2023
One time saving secret to reach your goals in 2023
Today I’m celebrating! I checked an item off my bucket list that I thought I’d have to wait until I retired to have the time for.
I read 50 books in a year.
Not audio books. Real books.
I sat down, did nothing else, and read. Fiction and nonfiction. Some I liked. Some I didn’t.
How did I manage to find the time to read 50 books in a year you might be wondering (while I also ran a business and had a busy 5-year-old running around my desk)...
No I didn’t have to give up sleep.
In this episode I’ll share the time-saving secret I discovered that left me enough time to check something off my bucket list.
I Felt Like I Never Had Time to do Things Just For Myself
I’ve shared on the show before that after I got my work hours under control (using all my productivity strategies to increase my efficiency and prioritize what matters so I wasn’t working 60 hour weeks anymore) I still felt burnt out.
I’d come home from work with energy (and I was doing better leaving work at work).
But by the end of the night I was going to bed exhausted, stressed about all the stuff I didn’t get done, and starting to get pretty cranky with my family if I’m being honest.
Because I felt like I never had time to do things just for myself.
When my husband and 5 year old would take a couple of hours on the weekend to go to the park, instead of using that time to do something that refueled my batteries, I felt this pressure to be productive at home too.
Like I always needed to be doing something worthy. Tidying up. Doing dishes. Starting laundry. Doing more work.
Even in the evenings I was feeling rushed.
I’d get home from work. Play with Allison for an hour while my husband got supper ready (sometimes jumping in to help him too while I multitasked games with my 5-year-old). We’d finish dinner, clean up, play some more, get Allion ready for bed, and after she was finally asleep I’d spend the last hour of my night tidying up her toys, getting things ready for the next day, or squeezing in another quick chore.
No wonder I was frustrated, stressed, and overwhelmed! I’d brought those same bad productivity habits that were draining me at work into my home life.
LIke multitasking and trying to do 10 things at once, rushing from one task to another stuck in busy work and not feeling fulfilled like I made any progress at the end of the day, and never prioritizing things that refueled my mental, physical, and emotional tank.
The Productivity Secret I Learned From This Experience
Here’s the productivity secret I learned that helped me make time to read 50 books this year → I needed to get comfortable putting myself on the priority list.
Sounds simple I know. But for us overachievers and recovering perfectionists, that my friend is not an easy task.
Let me ask you this - Do you ever feel uncomfortable when you take a day off? When you rest for 5 minutes.
Do you ever feel a bit guilty when you plan something just for yourself? Like an afternoon of crochet or reading. Or a trip to the salon. Or just an hour to sit and watch your favorite show?
Yeah. So do I.
Because our brains have internalized all these values and beliefs about what it means to work hard. Beliefs we’ve learned throughout our lives from our families, or friends, teachers and mentors, even the larger culture we live in.
Beliefs like being busy is a good thing. If you're not busy it means you’re not working hard enough. That we need to be working all the time. That resting is for slackers and hippies. That even when you do something for self care it needs to be productive - like going to the gym, or turning your painting hobby into a side hustle…
So we feel uncomfortable when we put ourselves on the priority list.
And that’s exactly how I felt when I decided I needed to make a change.
How I Put This Secret Into Action
Here’s what I did.
I decided that instead of spending an hour tidying up before I go to bed every night I’m going to either sit and read, watch a show I like, or crochet. Those are three things I like to do. Three things that make me smile, fill me with energy, and help me relax.
And at first it felt uncomfortable!
I’d sit down to read and stare at the toys on the floor and I had to actively resist the urge to put down my book and tidy.
I’d be trying to watch a movie and I’d start thinking about work and all the things on my to-do list that I could be using that time to check off.
And those mental defaults, those deep beliefs I hold about the value of working hard, started to creep back in.
Here’s what I do when my brain starts to guilt me into working during my reading time. I remind myself that I can’t save the world if I’m burnt out. That when I’m busy all the time I feel tired, stressed, cranky, and unmotivated.
I remind myself of the benefits of putting myself on the priority list. That I actually get more done when I’m rested and refreshed. That my brain is better at problem solving when I’m not stressed out. That I actually get more done by doing less.
The tough part - it takes time to convince our brains this is true.
Right now your brain has spent years stuck in the beliefs of hustle culture. That your value is tied to your to-do list and your productivity. That taking time for yourself to refuel your batteries is going to hold you back.
That’s not true. Our brains need breaks. They need a chance to recharge. They need to have fun sometimes.
It’s a good thing to put yourself on the priority list. Your brain, and your goals, will thank you.
Your Challenge This Week
So here’s my challenge for you this week. We’re getting into New Year’s resolution season. Whether you make them or not (more on that in next week’s episode), I challenge you to put yourself on the priority list for 2023.
Pick one thing you want to have more time for just for you. Maybe it’s walking your dog once a day, or reading like me, or having a date night once a week.
Then, come up for a plan for how you’re going to make that time (put yourself on the schedule).
I chose after my kid goes to bed because that’s an easier time for me to ignore all those extra distractions and interruptions and really commit to reading. Find a time that works best for you and put it on the schedule.
And when your brain starts to push back (because it will) remind yourself of why it’s key to put yourself on the priority list if you want to reach your goals. Because you can’t save the world if your burnt out.
Free Challenge - 5 Secrets To Skyrocket Your Productivity in 2023
Want the tools you need to jumpstart your productivity in 2023? If you’re a high achiever with big goals for the new year, you know that one of the keys to reaching those goals is having the time you need in your day. December 27-29 I’m running a free 3-day productivity challenge - 5 Secrets to Skyrocket Your Productivity in 2023.
In this challenge I’ll show you neuroscience based strategies to get your brain focused, and stay on track, and boost your productivity so you can reach those goals faster. Head to www.drnicolebyers.com/challenge to learn more.
Episode keys
I made time in my schedule to read 50 books this year by telling my brain that it was important to put myself on the priority list. It was hard at first, because our brains want to be busy all the time, to feel productive.
But working all the time actually drains our productivity and our motivation. Put yourself on the priority list for 2023. And dedicate the time in your schedule to follow through.
PS want to see what books I read? Here they are!
My 2022 Book List
** are next to my favorites if you’re looking to make time for reading to your schedule in 2023
Non-Fiction
No Time Like The Future - Michael J. Fox
Ask - Ryan Levesque
I Know How She Does It - Laura Vanderkam
**Talking to Strangers - Malcolm Gladwell
The War of Art - Steven Pressfield
Kids These Days - Dr. Jody Carrington
Straight Up - Trent Shelton
** Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management For Mortals - Oliver Burkeman
$100M Offers - Alex Hormozi
Expert Secrets - Russell Brunson
**The Gap and the Gain - Dan Sullivan
How To Do The Work - Dr. Nicole LePera
Scrappy Little Nobody - Anna Kendrick
Will - Will Smith
Radical Candor - Kim Scott
Fiction
The Every - Dave Eggers
Prodigal Son - Gregg Hurwitz
19th Christmas - James Patterson
The Other Emily - Dean Koontz
19 Yellow Moon Road - Fern Michaels
Lost - James Patterson
Neighbors - Danielle Steel
Praying for Sleep - Jeffery Deaver
The Doomsday Conspiracy - Sidney Sheldon
Private - James Patterson
Ocean Prey - John Sandford
Double Blind - Iris Johansen
**Quick Silver - Dean Koontz
The Coffin Maker’s Garden - Stuart Macbride
Murder Games - James Patterson
The Madness of Crowds - Louise Penny
** The Outsider - Stephen King
Devoted - Dean Koontz
A Book of Bones - John Connolly
No Cats Allowed - Miranda James
The Dark Hours - Michael Connelly
The Bond Code - Kathy Reichs
Live to See Tomorrow - Iris Johansen
The A List - JA Jance
The Games - James Patterson
** The Twelve - Justin Cronin (part 2 of a series, the first book - The Passage - is great too!)
Deadly Cross - James Patterson
Pandora’s Daughter - Iris Johansen
The Goodbye Man - Jeffrey Deaver
Over My Dead Body - Jeffrey Archer
Leave The World Behind - Rumaan Alam
The Summer House - James Patterson
Three Women Disappear - James Patterson (apparently my local library carries a lot of James Patterson…)
Kingdom of Bones - James Rollins
The Paris Detective - James Patterson
Show Highlights
[01:49] - I was still feeling burnt out and exhausted. I never had time for myself.
[03:03] - I brought the habits I had at work home with me.
[03:37] - We need to get comfortable with putting ourselves on our priority list.
[05:36] - Remind yourself that you can’t save the world if you’re burnt out.
[06:31] - Our brains need breaks.
[07:01] - Pick one thing you want to do that is just for you and put it on the schedule.
[08:00] - Learn about my free challenge to boost your productivity.
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www.drnicolebyers.com/challenge