102: 5 Signs of Stress You Can't Ignore

It might sound counterintuitive, but it’s possible for your brain to be totally stressed out without you realizing it! In this episode I’ll share 5 common signs of stress that you might not know, and why knowing your unique stress response can save you energy, and a bit of sanity. Okay, let’s dive in.

Stuck In a Traffic Jam and Feeling the Stress!

While I’m recording this episode it’s still the middle of winter here in Calgary. We actually had a pretty warm February, and a lot of folks, myself included, were thinking we were getting an early spring and the worst of winter was over.

You think after almost 40 years on this planet I would have learned to expect what we call second winter here in Canada (like second breakfast if you’re a Lord of the Rings fan, but less fun)...

…where the snow melts, the sun comes out, the birds are chirping, and then it snows a foot. Not surprising, I woke up with the rest of the city one morning recently to half a foot of snow, the temperature had dropped 20 degrees, and it was darn nasty outside.

So I’m driving Allison to daycare on my way to work and traffic is a mess. Like I said it snowed a bunch, then froze, and the roads were slick. Plus we’d all gotten used to driving with no snow (forgetting about second winter), and things were jammed up on the roads.

Everyone’s moving slowly, traffic is backing up, and then for some strange reason one of those double busses - the accordion ones that are super long and bend in the middle - stopped right on the other side of the exit from my community. There’s no bus stop there, but after about 5 minutes someone did get off and the bus moved. But for those 5 minutes we all sat there because no one could get past, and traffic is building and building.

I’m not a huge fan of traffic. I work from home whenever I can, and I have on a good day a 10 minute commute to my office. I’m not super patient when it comes to traffic. It’s something I’m working on - trying to remind myself that I’m not really in a rush, and I can enjoy my coffee and chuckle at the morning DJ’s on the radio.

Which sometimes works to calm me down. But not this morning.

I was grumbling under my breath, and I could feel my hands tightening on the wheel, my shoulders creeping up to my ears, and my jaw tightening. If you’ve ever been stuck in traffic, you probably have some idea of how irritated and tense I was getting…

Is Stress a Misunderstood Word?

I believe stress is a misunderstood word.

For one, we tend to think of stress as a bad thing that’s caused by bad situations, like getting stuck in traffic, being late for work, or missing a deadline. And those situations are definitely stressful.

But stress isn’t always bad. A little bit of stress can be motivating, and we need a bit of stress to get out of procrastination mode sometimes

(remember back in university when you had all semester to finish that project, but you had no motivation until the night before…yeah we’ve all been there…because there was no stress to finish that project until the deadline got closer).

Check out episode 62 to learn more about why a bit of stress is actually a good thing.

Plus - good things that happen in our lives cause stress too!

Our brains react the same way to a negative event like losing our job, as they do to a positive event like getting a promotion.

The same neurotransmitters are released, your body responds the same way (like your heart starts beating faster, your muscles tense, and even your vision changes).

It’s how our minds interpret those reactions that matter - we interpret that stress response from losing a job very differently than getting a promotion.

Roller coasters are another great example → if you are terrified of roller coasters and you stand in front of one your heart starts beating, you breathe faster, your stomach flip flops, knees week palms sweaty mom’s spaghetti right?

But if you love roller coasters and you stand in line you feel the same thing! Heart beat races, your breathing changes, your stomach flip flops. But we feel really different right? Because your brain reacts the same way to positive and negative stress, it’s how we interpret that reaction that matters.

So part of the reason I think stress is misunderstood is that we always think of stress as bad - from bad events, or something that gets in our way. But that’s not true, a bit of stress can help us, and we can also feel stressed when good things happen! That’s normal.

Stress Isn’t Always In Your Head

Another way stress is often misunderstood is we look out for certain signs of stress, but don’t realize stress shows up differently for all of us.

Often when we think of stress or anxiety we think of worry right? All those stresses on your brain. You know you’re stressed when you can’t get that thing out of your mind.

Maybe you’re stressed about a deadline at work and you can’t stop thinking about it. You’re worrying about it at work, on your drive home, when you’re in the shower, when you’re supposed to be sleeping, it’s always on your brain. We believe stress should feel a certain way. If my mind isn’t stressed out about something, then I’m not stressed right?

Not necessarily. Stress doesn’t always show up as racing thoughts or not being able to shut your brain off when you go to bed.

5 Common Signs of Stress You Might Not Know.

#1 = Tension - That story of me stuck in the traffic jam on the snowy morning with the bus blocking the road, I was pretty tense.

I was gripping that steering wheel tight, my jaw was clenching, shoulders starting to creep up to my ears… those are all physical signs my brain and body are under stress.

Ever been sitting in a meeting, it seems like things are going okay but maybe it’s about a project that everyone’s feeling pressure about, and there are a lot of tough decisions to make. You feel okay in the moment, but you get back to your chair, take a deep breath, and feel your shoulders drop 4 inches? Or you realize you could crack a walnut between your teeth they’re clenched so hard? Totally, we’ve all been there.

Tension is a super common sign of stress, pressure, or feeling overwhelmed. Our brains notice something is off, and even if we’re not aware of it in the moment, our bodies start to react. That's normal. It’s your brain and body trying to keep you safe.

Our muscles tense when we’re under stress or pressure to help us run away if we need to. We probably don’t need to run out of that meeting, but this is thousands of years of evolution at work - your brain is helping you get ready to run.

And it’s pretty common not to even notice you’re tense until you get out of that situation. Traffic lets up and I let out a deep breath and my body relaxes, you get out of that tough meeting and your body feels exhausted because it's been so tense. Muscle tension anywhere in your body could be a sign of stress.

#2 = headaches - Headaches can also be a sign of stress.

Some of this is related to muscle tension we talked about already. Makes sense right? If my muscles in my shoulders and neck get tense, that tension can give me a headache.

But we don't have to be tense to get a stress related headache. Most of us can think of a time we had a stress-related headache before. Often on those days when everything seems to go wrong. Flat tire on the way to work, late for school drop off, can't find a parking spot at work, spill your coffee on your shirt as you walk in the office door, and you’re reaching for the advil before you even sit down at your desk right?

Pain in any part of your body, including headache, can be related to stress. Sometimes that pain is like a warning sign from your brain. Your brain is saying “hello pay attention here, something is off”, and we’re not doing a great job of paying attention, so pain is like a signal from your brain that you need a break.

Because when we’re in pain we tend to rest right? It can be our brain’s way of getting us to take a break. Other times pain shows up because your brain is spending a bunch of mental resources dealing with stress, so it has less resources to manage pain.

We interpret pain differently depending on our mood. Ever stub your toe playing a game with your kids? Hurts right? But it hurts a whole lot more if you stub your toe after you come out of a terrible meeting with your boss right? Stress and our mood can impact how we manage pain, and pain can even be a physical sign of stress.

#3 = Memory errors - If you’ve lost your phone for the 10th time this week, that might be a sign your brain is under stress.

Managing stress, even good stresses like a new job or a promotion, takes up a lot of brain power. That means there’s less brain resources left over for remembering to turn the dishwasher on, or keeping track of the 10 things you need to get at the grocery store.

Memory mistakes, trouble focusing, and even speech errors can be a sign of stress. Stumbling over my words is one of my first signs that I’m taking on too much. Allison thinks it’s hilarious when I say I need to drop her off at work instead of school, but that’s way more likely to happen when I’ve got a million things on my brain and I’m feeling burnt out.

If you’re starting to worry your mind is slipping and maybe you’re going to need a GPS tracker pretty soon, before you start looking at assisted living, take a look at what’s going on in your life. Do you have a million things on your plate? Is there anything that might be stressing you out or making your brain work extra hard right now? That stress and pressure could be the reason you left your keys in the fridge today.

#4 = Dizziness - I worked for a few years as part of a clinic specifically for treatment of dizziness where about half of the folks who came through the doors had dizziness that was associated with stress. It’s super common.

Getting dizzy every once in a while is normal. You turn around or stand up to suddenly and you feel a bit off, or maybe you’re like me and struggle with motion sickness so even watching a movie can make you dizzy!

Remember our brains only have so many resources. When we’re under a lot of stress and pressure, there aren't’ a lot of resources left for managing that normal occasional dizzy feeling.

Instead of feeling dizzy when you bend over and your brain quickly adjusting and moving on, when we’re under stress it’s harder to make that adjustment. So the dizziness lasts longer and feels worse, which unfortunately sends our brains into protection mode. Your brain says yikes that felt terrible, i don't’ want to be dizzy and fall, let’s put a bunch of energy towards my balance and making sure I don’t feel dizzy again.

Unfortunately we know when we pay too much attention to these normal events like occasional dizziness, or leaving your keys in the fridge once - it makes us more likely to make the same mistake again.

So that stress-related dizziness can get worse just because we get stressed about being dizzy! Sounds a bit unfair right?

The good news, is when we know these might be physical signs of stress, we can take action to reduce that stress in our lives and improve our physical health.

#5 = Stomach problems - Stomach cramps, nausea, even vomiting and diarrhea can all be caused by stress.

Public speaking is a great example. Ever get up to give a presentation and your stomach starts clenching, you feel like you’re going to be sick? Super normal.

Stomach symptoms are a normal reaction your body has to stress. Again it’s your brain’s way of telling you hello pay attention I’m super stressed out right now!

But just like the other signs we talked about today, often we misattribute stomach problems to something else. We think we’ve ate something bad, or we’re getting sick, or we think there's some other physical cause and we ignore whatever might be causing stress or pressure on our minds.

Why Is This So Important?

Knowing that it is possible for our bodies to experience stress physically rather than emotionally is key. Some of us are just more prone to feeling stress in these ways.

More prone to feeling stress as tension, headaches, or stomach problems. We don’t have the signs we think of like racing thoughts, or sleep problems.

So it’s hard to recognize that our brains might be trying to get our attention Trying to let us know that we’ve taken on too much, or might need to look at some of the places in our lives that are getting overwhelming for our brains and bodies.

But once we know how we experience stress, we can start taking actions to get our brains back on track and keep moving towards our goals.

Have you taken my stress personality quiz yet?

We all react to stress and pressure differently. Knowing your stress personality can help you recognize your own signs of stress, and help you pick the stress busting strategies that will work best for you. Heck, knowing how you react to stress and pressure can even help you get more done in the day because you’ll be able to plan productivity skills that match your style. You can take the quiz here

Episode Recap

Okay let’s do a quick recap of what you’ve learned today. Stress gets a bad reputation and is often misunderstood. Not all stress is bad, and even good things like a promotion or a positive change in your life can cause stress. And stress doesn’t always feel like what we think it should feel like. You learned 5 common physical ways stress can show up (even without you noticing you’re stressed out). Being aware of your body’s unique stress response can help you avoid burn out, and save your time, energy and focus for the things that are most important to you.

Show Highlights

[01:35] Do you have “second winter” where you live? It took me by surprise this year!

[03:29] Why stress is a misunderstood word.

[05:44] No two people have the same signs that they’re stressed.

[06:35] Tension is a sign of stress that you may not recognize.

[08:16] Headaches are another sign of stress.

[09:57] Have you been dealing with memory errors?

[11:07] Dizziness is also associated with stress.

[12:43] Stomach problems are normal reactions to stressors as well.

[14:49] Your quick recap of the 5 common physical ways stress shows up.

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