63: How to Stop Losing Motivation and Create Success Habits with Dr. Peggy Malone

Why are some habits so hard to stick to?

The story always starts the same …

… you start with tons of motivation and excitement whether you’re working on a new project or working towards a goal …

…but sooner or later your motivation fizzles and find yourself back on the couch binging Netflix with a bag of chips.

The solution? Develop the right habits that will keep you on track towards your goals over the long term.

Today on The Bold Life Dr. Peggy Malone joins us to share actionable strategies to get started on your new success habits and keep your momentum (no more falling back into your comfort zone of procrastination and self-doubt!)

Dr. Peggy is a chiropractor who encourages her patients to create better habits associated with health and wellness. She’s the host of The Improvement Project podcast, where she shares her journey of creating better habits and routines and inspires others to take up the challenge.

Walking The Walk & Talking The Talk

Dr. Peggy shared how in her early adult years she was always excited to take on new adventures. To check off the wildest dreams on her bucket list. She earned degrees, completed ironman triathlons, and traveled around the world.

But once she was done with the adventuring she wanted to settle down to a life with routine and realized - it wasn’t easy! “I really struggled to maintain healthy habits just because they were good for me, rather than because they were part of the bigger, adventure goal” Dr. Peggy says.

She realized that she couldn’t preach to her clients the importance of maintaining heathy habits when she wasn’t doing it herself.

She created The Improvement Project podcast to combine her curiosity about why people do what they do (or don’t do), with actionable strategies to learn new habits including habit challenges, and digging into routines, habits, and self-development.

Your future, future self

For 12 years, Dr. Peggy was never in the same place for longer than eight months. She would be away at school, then back at home, then working in Australia, and always on the move. This meant her routines and goals were short term.

When she transitioned to a more consistent routine Dr. Peggy shares how she struggled to keep motivated because she lost those short term goals. For example, she wasn’t training for a marathon anymore so it was hard to keep up with regular exercise.

Dr. Peggy explains that she had to create a mindset shift to think about her future self. Instead of going to the gym to train for an upcoming triathlon, Dr. Peggy began to think about her 75-year-old self being able to lift groceries out of the car.

Dr. Peggy recommends a mental exercise of imagining yourself 10, 20, 30 years down the road – then starting to make the right choices for your future self, now. This is especially helpful when you’re attempting to form better habits.

Want to Change Your Habits? Focus on Identity Not Outcomes

Dr. Peggy’s loves James Clear’s model of habit change. As James Clear says, you stay stuck in the habits that you don’t want because you’re too focused on changing the wrong thing. He explains three levels for change to occur:

1. Changing your outcomes – Like losing weight or eating healthier, . These goals focus on outcomes (the results you get).

2. Changing your process – Like de-cluttering your desk for better workflow. You’re improving the systems or processes that you already have in place to create changes in your life.

3. Changing your identity – Changing what you believe when it comes to your world view, self image, and other people in order to change your habits and reach success.

In psychology there’s a concept called “dissonance” that fits with this model. Dissonance occurs happens when you’re doing something that’s inconsistent with your beliefs and values. Your brains says “bleh, this is icky and I don’t like it”. For example, if you exercise regularly your brain might get this icky feeling on the day you skip the gym. If you have the belief “I’m someone who exercises” - your brain feels uncomfortable when you do something that doesn’t fit with this belief (skipping the gym) which can motivate you to get your runners on and get out the door for some exercise.

By forming habits as a reflection of your identity, rather than a short-term goal, you’re more likely to see lasting change. Not just a quick fix!

Habit Challenges

On The Improvement Project Dr. Peggy and her co-host Jenny tried 30 day habit challenges to see how easy (or hard) it would be to learn new, healthy habits.

This started with baby steps, like making the bed every day or drinking more water daily. Once they mastered the basics, they moved on to bigger habits, like

exercising every day
eating healthier
better sleep patterns
digital device detox
no complaining and better mental habits

When practicing these habits, Dr. Peggy encourages you to find an accountability partner. This could be a mentor, a coach, or a friend.

If you know someone is waiting for you at the gym at 6am to workout with you, you’re more likely to get your butt in gear. Choose some new habits you’d like to practice and bring a buddy!

Building A Consistency Chain

It’s easier to stay on track for short term goals, but it’s hard to keep that consistency up over the long run. Creating a chain of events that move you towards your goals can keep your momentum going. Once you go to the gym every day for 30 days it creates way more dissonance (that icky feeing that we’re acting outside our values) when you are tempted to skip a day.

Once you’ve built a long habit chain with commitment and consistency, you’re motivated to continue with that habit so that you don’t break the chain you’ve been working on for so long.

On those days when going to the gym doesn’t sound like fun or straying away from your meal plan seems tempting (and tastier), you’ll remind yourself of the lengthy chain you’ve already created and chances are you’ll be encouraged to add another link to your chain rather than breaking it completely.

Another question to ask yourself: How will you feel tomorrow when you choose not to do the habit today? As James Clear says, “intensity makes a good story; consistency gets results”. This is why the long term is so important. You could work out at the gym for 6 months straight, but then sit on the couch and eat chips and dip for the rest of your life. How do you think that will help your 75-year-old self carry the groceries in from the car? Consistency is key to help you make the long-term change for your future self.

Change Doesn’t Happen Overnight

Habits are something that you have to learn. Start with baby steps, even if it’s one push up a day for a week, this will eventually lead to something bigger. Like two push ups a day for a week!

Expecting instant change or overnight success just leads to frustration and makes you more likely to quit. The long haul is just that – long.

What happens when you start to feel overwhelmed? That not-so-good feeling starts to creep into your stomach, that inner voice of self doubt speaks a little louder, and the temptation to procrastinate is growing?

The cure to make this feeling go away is simple. Start.

As soon as your start your speech, as soon as your start the race, as soon as your start the project – your confidence will grow and you’ll be more likely to keep taking action.

Show Highlights

[02:40] Dr. Malone talks about her story and how she arrived at her practice.

[04:15] The habit challenge - taking up a new habit each month for a year.

[06:39] How routine creates our persona and our identity.

[09:33] Think about habits and goals as part of your long-term identity.

[10:51] Incorporating new practices, changing your process, and changing systems.

[12:16] Why forever habits are locked into who you are and your identity.

[20:07] Tips for creating habits that stick to your daily routine.

[23:49] Common mistakes people make when getting started with new habits.

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